So I hear that “new thing” brewery, Surly, has this beer that they call Darkness. The kids say it’s so dark and dank that it’s probably brewed by Satan himself with a little help from Cheech and Chong. Apparently the kids go apeshit about it. My sister sold a bottle of it for $100 on eBay. Can’t say I really understand it, but you should see all the nerds lining up in the middle of the night in Brooklyn Center. It’s somethin’ else. Whatever. You can keep your fancy Satan-beer and your special casks, devil’s music and food trucks. Phooey.