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MNBeer Predictions for 2007

I shouldn’t need to say this, but I will. Everything in this post below this line is pure speculation, un-informed guesses or perhaps even straight-up bull… er baloney. So without further ado… Minnesota Beer predictions for 2007.

Brau Brothers Brewing Co. beer will arrive in the Twin Cities in 6-packs and kegs. They will deliver the first case to my house for, uh, quality control…

Finnegan’s… just pure speculation here, but we’re guessing that they’ll give a bunch of money to charity… and a bunch of beer to the folks at MNBeer.

Flat Earth Brewing Company will brew some kick-ass Belgian and/or farmhouse ales and bottle them in bombers and/or champagne-style bottles. One of their beers will have “Minnesota” in the name. Strangely enough, an elf will deliver their beer to my doorstep in the middle of the night.

Gluek Brewing Company will continue to be pimped by Dan Gladden during Twins games. When we ask nicely, they’ll arrange to give us a tour on a Saturday. See above post about delivery elves…

Lake Superior Brewing Company is going to dig out the wild rice for a new brew. The company purchases more firkins and Don starts showing up in the Twin Cities with cask-conditioned beers on a semi-regular basis. Again, remember the elves…

Mantorville Brewing Company will break into the Twin Cities market in full-force with a new pale ale made with a combination of Amarillo and Centennial hops… no, wait, maybe it’s an IPA. Due the overwhelming success, Tod closes St. Croix to concentrate on new beers and recipes. Again, strangely, this new beer ends up on my doorstep in the middle of the night. My supply runs low and it magically appears again. Who needs magic beans or a beanstock? I have delivery elves/gnomes/dwarves… whatever they are…

Pig’s Eye Brewing drops by MNBeer world headquarters one Friday even and proceeds to get us hammered. Feelings of deja vu arise, though I remember that I am no longer the 16-year-old getting sloshed on Pig’s Eye in the College Manor apartments on the campus of the FFCC in Fergus Falls.

August Schell… Dave Berg puts on a show this year at Bockfest where he jumps 2 live deer and a peacock on his bike. He wipes out but is saved by the “bock fairy” (what, you’ve never heard of her?) and her magical, seldom-seen quadruple-bock. When he is out cold, he is inspired to revamp the Zommerfest recipe with a new ale yeast (something like Wyeast’s Ardennes…) and lemongrass. Friends take to calling Dave “Evol.”

St. Croix – See above.

Summit Brewing Company puts their Amber on hold as well as their Pilsner and IPA. Their Alt makes a return and old fans finally stop bitching about the fact that it is no longer available. Summit introduces a Saison mid-summer and revamps the Pilsner recipe.

Surly Brewing Company – Two words. Imperial Furious. Local drinkers learn to order it by hand signals. (Stick your left pointer finger in the air and make a rough “F” with your pointer and middle fingers on your right hand). A New York Times article follows. They mis-quote us.

Barley John’s undergoes a small expansion. Local food critics wet themselves over new menu items. Chaos ensues.

Fitger’s Brewhouse invites Dave’s brother Mike to brew a batch of Masala Mama. Duluth fans rave for more. Beer fans rally and help pass legislation to allow brewpubs to sell their beer to distributors in Minnesota.

Granite City opens a number of new locations, including Bloomington and Minneapolis proper. A new, larger brewing facility is planned and/or built in the Twin Cities. The other location is reserved for seasonal beers.

Great Waters changes the name of their Mild, cuz a little bird told them that “Mr. Smooth” was cheesy. Unexpected food items are placed in the mash tun and result in excellent beers.

Green Mill Brewing Company gets more attention in 2007 thanks to involvement in the Minnesota Craft Brewer’s Guild and, uh, free pizza and beer for MNBeer readers…

The Herkimer surprises everyone with a highly-hopped IPA-like lager. People love it so much it becomes part of the regular line-up. It’s name? Duh. “The Prediction.” They also brew a steam beer which gets lots of attention.

Minneapolis Town Hall Brewery expands. Upward. …er… the crystal ball is hazy, folks… maybe they actually open a second location in the vicinity of the new Twins ballpark. Another cask is added to the line-up.

O’Gara’s totally revamps their brewery and surprises everyone.

O’Hara’s remodels and gets lots of attention for a new Imperial Porter that Chris brews.

Rock Bottom cranks adds a pulled beer to their line-up, much to everyone’s surprise. Men rejoice, ladies are so happy they cry, kids are jealous…

Wellington’s Backwater Brewing Company becomes a weekend destination for Minnesota beer geeks. Beer, barbecue and bowling? Yes. Parties ensue. Winona hotels are overbooked with Minnesota beer geeks.

MNBeer.com becomings a paying gig for two lucky sods. We’re all forced to work out daily, heavily, thanks to all of the free beer we’re forced to consume. Michael Jackson calls us for information on beers, wanting to know more about all of the great offerings in Minnesota.

In Minnesota, laws are passed to allow brewpubs to sell kegs to distributors. No less than 30 Minnesota bars carry at least three beers from Minnesota by the end of the year. Beer that was once only available to Minnesotans via travel to Wisconsin and beyond becomes available. Local brews, in turn, are sent far and wide. Two new brewpubs are opened as well as two new breweries.

Okay, so one of these predictions is actually, mostly factual. Stay tuned in the new year to see which one is true. I’m not telling…

9 comments

  1. HawkEye says:

    I’m banking on the Summit or Flat Earth predictions. I know Summit is rolling out two new beers (at the Happy Gnome, BTW). I wonder how Flat Earth’s beer are going to be……

  2. David Berg says:

    Well, if one is true, and it may be about me, I better start building a ramp. Couldn’t you at least given me a chance by saying 1 deer and 2 peacocks. Or maybe 3 peacocks? I mean, if you’re making stuff up, you could have just as well said I wasn’t going to hit the pavement all year in 2007!

  3. David Berg says:

    By the way, do I win anything if I can make a couple of them come true?

  4. beachscrat says:

    Thatta boy Ryan! Screw printing the facts! Stick to solid theory and speculation and you’ll go far brother.
    Oh and I’m going with the Ardennes yeast w/ the Schell’s Sommerfest will win the prize.

    How about this prediction:
    Schell’s decides to use all of their corn for ethanol production and goes strict Reinheitsgebot with all their beers, sweeping all lager categories at the GABF. Dave Berg shaves his head into a mohawk while wearing all of his newly acquired medals screaming into cold MN air “I’m the Pro-brewin’ Mr. T!!”

  5. David Berg says:

    Man, now I’m getting a Mohawk too?

    OK, here’s my prediction:

    Minnesota Breweries continue to make kick-ass beer, and the locals finally realize it. Everyone quits worrying about which beers they can’t get in the state, and revel in what they have. Bars actually start putting local beers on tap. A good bar is measured not by how many beers they have on tap, but on how many Minnesota beers from different breweries they have on tap. At the ABR, local brewers have to hire people to pour beer because they’re too busy signing autographs. Constantly hounded by the beer paparazzi, Ryan invests in a variety of hats and sunglasses. Unfortunately, a picture of Ryan appears on the internet getting out of a limo at Town Hall sans underwear.

  6. ryan says:

    1. We shall see, eh? Some brewers guard their secrets carefully, so I may well be full of shit… or a good guesser…
    2. Dave – with regards to peacocks, I was thinking of peacocks with feathers up and in full “bloom” or whatever they might term it. So two deer and one peacock isn’t too bad, my friend…
    3. Hrrm. Would Zommerfest be good with Ardennes yeast and lemongrass? If it’s good, we’d find a prize for you. I liked the Lemongrass Wheat at Bandana, in any case.
    4. More importantly, what does it take to light up the Grain Belt sign in Minneapolis? I drove by on Saturday night and it just didn’t seem right for it to be sitting there in the dark.
    5. Hah. Only if the limo is a compact Saturn… Of course I know better than to go commando, too, so let’s stick to the first part of your prediction…

    Oh yes, part II of the Town Hall prediction involves Dave Hoops coming down to brew a couple of batches with Mike at Town Hall. People are surprised when their coffee is replaced with Folgers crystals… er, um… when they find El Nino on the cask list in place of Masala Mama one afternoon. Thankfully, chaos does not ensue and this inspires a rash of “guest brews” around breweries and brewpubs in Minnesota. Brewers in other states follow suit and Adam and Tim write into the Brewing Network to rub it in…

  7. beachscrat says:

    The Brewing Network!!?? Come on man, why would I waste my time listening to that lousy show 😉

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